Random Midnight Thoughts

I'm so tired interacting with humans.

I'm not good in expressing myself. 

I'm not good with confrontation. 

I really dislike things to get awkward.

I try to avoid it.

I feel sorry for people easily.

Even when I'm not wrong,

They make me feel like

I'm the one who did wrong.

Maybe I'm too soft.

Maybe I'm lack of confidence.

Maybe I'm just stupid.. 

I think.. 

I'm repaying my past life's debts.

GeorgeTown Festival

First of all, I can't download Blogger app in my phone.

The app is for older phone models.

So, I can't blog on the spot.

Then it had me thinking again if I should change to other platform.

Sigh.

Anyway, last Sunday 14th July, went to KOMTAR for 

Songs at The Dawn of A Nation.

I would say it's enjoyable to listen to the songs decades ago.

The lyrics were so much simpler and about daily life.

The cover actually looks good.

Simple and nice.

Then this week, 21st July, went again for Saree Draping near Little India

then

Batik Painting at

Seh Tek Tong Cheah Kongsi.

My humble batik painting.

Before :

After :

Not an artist but it's fun!

Did this in about 30 minutes.

Yes, there's time limit.

And I am always stress when there is time limit.

So my goal is just to finish it.

Walked around and listened to the Jazz performance.

Then dinner in Thai restaurant.

I should learn to take more pics.

but it's just not me.

And I'm lazy.

LOL

Fangirl Life 101

When someone claimed that she knows someone internal/staffs.

And she kept telling you about your idol.

About him changing from polite to arrogant.

Personalities getting worse day by day.

What do you feel?

Cause your idol is still so polite in front camera.

Still seems so good...

I can tell you, I'm a person easily swayed.

I am sorry.

I know I should trust my idol more.

I seriously do.

But at the same time I didn't want to be blinded.

And I still think of the what ifs.

So, I was a little down.

I said I did predict at the start when I like him.

This is what I feared since the beginning.

What if it's all an act or 

What if he changes one day when he's successful.

It's human nature.

I will not be surprised.

Just sad...

Sad.

Anyway, this is just a one side story I am hearing.

So I am taking it with a pinch of salt.

We don't know what exactly happened.

Maybe there's miscommunication or

maybe he's not in the best mood.

No one is perfect after all.

Human.

Unless there are solid proofs.

Till then, I will stand by my idol.

It will take me a while to finish my Korea Trip post.

So I will post in between.

Fulfilling My Childhood Dream (How It Began!)

Before I start, I just need to refresh a few things.

I don't think I can really classify myself as a Kpop fan.

Because once I stan a group, I only listen and watch that particular group.

I don't really pay attention to others.

Though I do enjoy few other artists' songs.

Especially ballads.

So yes, I am a fan of TVXQ! since November 2005.

I stan them like crazy till...I don't remember.

Maybe 2013 when I didn't-want-but-fell for EXO.

So much for my TVXQ will be my first and last group.

You know there are many happy moments but also sad ones.

Hence I wanted TVXQ to be my last.

But EXO happened.

So I tell myself EXO will be my last.

I hope.

Sincerely.

(though I can't imagine my life not stanning any group)

I still follow TVXQ//JYJ though and definitely will attend their concerts.

When I was much younger and still studying,

I dreaded growing old but then I hoped once I am earning money,

I can go to Korea, buy all the albums and merch I wanted, go to their concerts overseas etc.

But reality hurts cause I think I am richer while I was studying. LOL

Cause once you're out to the society, there comes commitment.

You need to pay this and that by yourself and also give money monthly to my parents.

So, I dragged my dream to visit Korea.

Seeing everyone visiting but not me.

And I think how unfair life is.

(It is never fair to begin with anyway)

I think I didn't blog about me changing my profession entirely.

But I took over a franchise from my part time job.

It was hell the whole process.

I will blog it next time.

I am not sure if I made the right decision

cause it ties me down.

But I am greedy I admit.

I could not stand earning a fresh graduate monthly salary.

I want a faster route.

So I took it up.

There's pros and there's cons.

I need to start the main content of this post.

HHAHAHAHAHA

******************************************************************

On 9th April, when I woke up from my afternoon nap,

I scrolled Twitter and I saw the news that 

Xiumin is enlisting to military on 7th May 2019.

I got so emotional because I thought they probably have 

their last Asia tour together before he enlists.

I expect to see Xiumin one last time before he enlists.

I got very emotional.

(don't ask me why)

I began to search tickets for EXO-CBX concert in Japan.

Their last stop was in Kobe on 27th, 28th and 29th April.

Of course, I didn't manage to get any tickets.

Too last minute and it's difficult to get Japan concert tics.

I still tried in Twitter.

But then, I think on 15th April,

SM posted regarding Xiumin fanmeeting before he enlists,

Xiuweet Time on 4th May 2019 in Jamsil Arena.

Opportunity to meet Xiumin!

I got worried getting ticket for the fanmeet.

Of course it's going to sell out within seconds or minutes.

But I am going to try from Yes24 ticketing.

Then SM announced Global Package for this fanmeet.

Global Package is under SM Ent for international fans 

who wish to join concert/fanmeet/music show.

But it's very costly and they provide only

accommodation, transport to and fro venue and some special merchs.

There are few packages.

Only official fanclub member / ACE members can purchase the package.

Hence, I got no choice but rushed to register for ACE membership in Lysn app.

The ticketing for both Yes24 and Global Package 

was on 17th April and at the same time!

I became official member one day before on 16th April.

I bought the membership code from Yes24.

But it was tedious as they mentioned to use credit card.

I used my sis's credit card but after I key in the OTP from bank and pressed enter,

it just showed a blank page!

And I don't know if they deduct the money from the credit card.
(they didn't deduct any)

I did twice and both times same thing happened.

(I was desperate ok. If I did not become member by 11.59pm that day, I could not purchase ticket the next day)

I searched in Twitter and chatted with a Shawol,

she advised using debit card.

So I tried and it went through.

Finally! Thank god.

Registered and get prepared to fight for ticket the next day.

The membership cost 35,000 won and the shipping for the merchs is 32,000 won.

Total 67,000 won = RM248.87

I asked my first sis for her Paypal for ticketing.

She got excited and wanted to follow me to Korea.

And she even volunteered to fight for a ticket the next day.

I actually made up my mind to aim for Global Package after asking both sis opinions.

Their reasonings :

1) easier to get to venue etc since everything is planned

2) easier to get ticket than fighting with kfans

But the price is killing yea.

And we don't know the price until it starts ticketing unlike Yes24.

The ticket for Xiuweet in Yes24 is only 66,000 won.

The night before ticketing, I went to SMTOWN TRAVEL website

and read through Baekhyun's Birthday Fanmeet (a day before Xiuweet) packages.

Just to gauge the pricing and what type of packages available.

I kept reading tips here and there.

Nervous.

The ticketing was at 3pm KST.

I went to area meeting first and rushed back.

So so nervous.

I was in front of my laptop waiting.

When it's near, I kept refreshing and try to go in.

And when I did, I did not read anything at all.

I just click the option and one step before payment page,

it redirects me to main page.

Buying Global Package the first time, I was a bit lost.

I did not know if I successfully reserved the ticket in cart or nothing at all.

I was stunned for a moment.

Click here and there and when I went back,

only twin package available and I don't dare to buy
cause what if I can't find someone to go with.

Then after a while,

all packages were SOLD OUT.

And my sis could not get any tic from YES24 either.

I went to try in YES24 but when I click, it said under purchasing.

So, no luck.

I was so sad and disappointed.

I thought of waiting for 4pm KST for normal ticketing and try again to get a tic.

But when I was scrolling the Global Package page 20 minutes later,

a few packages re-open and I just click on it.

I managed to get into the payment Paypal page,

and seriously, the package was so expensive,

but I can't think at that moment.

If I delay anymore, I might lose the tic.

So I just paid and then

I CALLED MY SIS AND SHOUTED AT HER CAUSE

I PAID SO MUCH FOR THAT PACKAGE.

Excited but at the same time scolding myself for spending so much for this.
I can't believe that I actually did that.

I got the Premium Standing package (the only one available)

with translation device (refundable $70).

So total I paid $699 which is near RM3k.

What is money?

I forgot to mention, even though I successfully purchased,

we need to key in our ACE membership number and wait for them to process and confirm.

They even wrote there saying it is not advisable to buy flight tickets until it is confirmed.

So me being paranoid again was worried.

I asked them at the Q&A board and they answered pretty quickly.

They state that the confirmation will be on 23rd April.

Which I think it's a little late to buy flight tickets.

The price for flight tickets will increase by then.

Hence me and sis proceed buying the flight tickets first 

without waiting for the confirmation.

Thank god nothing bad happened.

This is what pushed me to go Korea finally.

My friend said she could not believe that

I am going Korea for Xiumin.

Why are we acting like Xiumin is going to die.

He's just going to military.

She said she would understand if it's Yixing or Sehun.

My main bias.

I don't know as well, I mean I can't remember when

I have a soft spot for Xiumin but he certainly is my Top 4.

Going Korea and buying Global Package,

I could say they're one of my childhood fangirl dream.

Finally, I fulfilled it I guess.

So, it is worth it.

My parents did not know the main reason we are going to Korea.

My sis said her company is sending her there for company trip.

And me, I am tagging along.

Sorry for the white lie.

But my mom would kill me if she knows.

Although I am old enough to be doing this.

I will continue my Korea Trip post in the next one.

This is longer than I expected.

I am happy.

I finally am doing something

on my dreams.

A bit old for this

but better late than never.

Back to Blogger

Well, annyeong!

I decided to blog again.

After 3 years.

This on and off thing.

Yea, why am I like this.

I did had a Dayre account but only post sometimes too.

But then, I decided to come back to Blogger

cause it's more convenient for me to type using keyboard

rather than my phone.

And there's no word limit in Blogger.

It's funny when I read back my past posts.

So many spelling and grammatical mistakes.

And all the pics that I want to delete from the posts.

Nevertheless, it's good to read back what happened.

I hope I can be more active after this.

I did a few changes as well to my blog.

I changed

my previous url : miraclesinheaven11

it was started since 2008 

(I had this blog for 10+years. *gasp)

I just thought a few changes will be good.

New one : anotherfangirl99

Yes, cause I am still a fangirl at this age.

No, I refuse to use fanaunty.

99 cause anotherfangirl was taken.

So I added 99 as that is Xiumin's number.

I am waiting for Kim Minseok to discharge from military.

And 99 is good cause there's always a room for improvement to be 100.

Just like how Changmin said that number 2 is good cause 

there is still room for improvement to become number 1.

I want to write about my Korea trip

And that's how I am back. (:

This and That.

This is under draft since 2016.
I might as well post it after some summarizing to what I still remember.

***************************************************************


Wow. I abandoned you again.

I'm sorry.

First off, I gave up on counting the weeks I'm working.
Somehow, I think the more I count, the endless it will be.
So depressing even at the start of this post.
But yeap, I'm lost.
I'm 25 years old and I don't know what I want.
Should I continue work? Go study?
I work from morning till night.
And it's tiring.
I don't even have much time left to do much thing.
If there is, I just want to laze around and sleep.
My life...there seems to be no goals, nothing to look forward to, no motivation, just nothing.
I feel like I'm wasting my life.
I'm nervous cause I am not young anymore although I feel like I'm a teen.
Funny.

 I should blog on something happy.
I went to EXO concert!
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
12th March 2016.

It's a disaster and the only thing I'm grateful for is
finding few good friends and of course looking at the EXO members.
Where do I start?
I took leave on 11th March (Friday) and took an early train 7am to KL.
I was in the same train as Qingtian whom I mentioned in my previous post.
The seat next to mine didn't turn up so she sat with me.
We spazzed a while.
When we reached KL Sentral, we decided to head to our hotel, Grid 9;
walking distance to Stadium Merdeka.
Highly recommended. Clean and convenient to go to the stadium.

We can't check in until 2pm or so.
hence, we had our lunch in the 'lobby'
limited menu but affordable prices.

When we got to check in, me and Qingtian had a little rest.
Met up with Sharrlini and her family then Katie who bought her ticket through me.
Katie stayed in Petaling Street.
Turns out she's very friendly and blend well with us.
She's mixed Chinese and Indian so she can speak Mandarin.
But I always automatically speak English to her and she always ask me why I don't speak Mandarin to her like how I speak to Qingtian. ehe.

All of us walked to the Stadium to 'check out' the place.
turns out still under construction.
There are already few fans who camped there few days.
Real dedicated but a little crazy..

I actually overnight at the stadium as well.
The next day I did went back to hotel for a quick bath in the morning.
Anyway, fans who went overnight and doing their own numbering system did not work at all.
Not all fans listen to them as it was not official.
Moral of the story, don't even bother to queue according to their numbering system.
Cause when the official staff or security comes,
all hell break loose.
All fans went crazy and just rush in.
Security guards were not very helpful.
I always say EXO-Ls in Malaysia are like zombies.
They just push and run like their lives are in danger.

I was in Rock Zone M, the middle rockzone.
Before the concert starts, it was okay.
Once started, I got pushed and squeezed like sardines in tin.
Barely able to breathe.
But of course, it was quite worth it as I'm just in front of the stage.
Only two or three fans in front of me.
So looking at the boys was ♥



Seriously I don't remember much now.
I'll edit in future. Maybe.