Doomsday? Nope. Similar enough.

And here I am again. 

After how many months. ahemahem

I'm having my 2nd year 3rd sem finals in another 2 weeks or so?

No confidence at all.

And it's so pressuring when people expects you to get good result.

No No No.

I'm not that smart people. 

My brain just don't collaborate with me. 

I can't memorize. I can't concentrate.

I don't like to study. My mind wanders. 

How much worse can it gets?

I'm just trying my best and hope for the best.

God. Please be with me. 

Just let me get pointer 3 and above for this semester.

I pray...

Finally..I'm having my sem break now.

My first year in uni has come to an end. 

I don't know what to do with my 2 months holiday.

I need to buy a lot of things. sigh

I'm just too bored. Will update some other day..

yeap. i will never learn my lesson.

last day for me to procrastinate.

my whole week of mid sem break is over

without me studying anything. ANYTHING AT ALL.

great. sigh..

been going out almost everyday since im back home

just busy doing i-cant-even-remember-what-i-did.

and i just have to fall sick..FLU, my greatest enemy.

so im like zombie-ing here there and each day just passes by..

will be going back to university in a few hours time..

going to a battlefield, most my midsem exam is next week. im official gone. i know. serves me right for not studying at all. TT____TT

bye penang. wait for my return!

NOOOOOO!!!

i just want to sleep and sleep and sleep.

my first sem is OVER!!!

YESH YESH YESH.

well being the lazy bum i am,

im too lazy to blog about my detailed life in pengkalan chepa..

maybe next time..

currently having my sem break.

it's almost over and i realize...

1) I'm getting old (not a new thing)

2) I treasure every seconds ticking at home (more than before)

3) Try to accomplish as many things as I can at home before sem break is over

4) I love sem break cause it's the only time I don't have to study

5) I matured a little than before (I think)

6) I'm tired of people saying I look OLD (sigh.)

7) I don't want to go back for 2nd sem. (unfortunately, it's not an option)

almost everyone said they're boring at home

well just not me

i felt miserable counting the days i have to go back

to face the books that torture my poor forgetful brain.

please let everything to be

more smooth the next sem...

when i worked hard for something

and the result doesn't satisfy me...

i feel disappointed and thought,

"Maybe I should take it easy. Why put all my effort and get disappointed and sad later? If I didn't work that hard at least I could blame on it later rather than moping about my own stupidity.."

i feel worse when people who didn't put more effort than me could do better.

that makes me think I'm stupid.

or maybe I am.

I just need to admit my intelligence is so limited

and I should try harder to stop comparing or

feel jealousy envious of other people.

It doesn't help when people get more credits than I do when I'm the one who did most of the things.

I know. Life is not fair.

I learnt that long ago..

and I still couldn't accept it.

Why is God giving me all these tests...

to prepare me for greater things?

Cause I don't think I could handle anymore

after so many years of 'training'.

Something to comfort myself,

There won't be a winner if there's no loser.

There's no success if there's no failure.

There's no happiness if there's no sadness.

There's no laughter if there's no tears.

maybe my existence is to enrich other people's life

and I'm getting sick of it.

this feeling is killing me.

and hence my new year resolution,

to be contented and more happy.