miracles

Something happened this morning.

I feel like it's a bad omen. wtf

I finally made up my mind to accept the job offer in F company although it's not related to what I study at all in Degree. 

I'm required for a medical checkup at Klinik Iman, Lunas.

I went this morning and before I left the house, I lent RM100 from my mom in case I need to pay for the checkup. My mom gave me another RM140 to buy her medicine in pharmacy.

I need to have my X-ray taken as well.

Hence, when I was in the X-ray room, I put my bag on the chair and changed my clothes before the 'nurse' came in and asked me to stand and face the wall.

After all the checkups, me and my dad went to the pharmacy.

That's the first time, I took out my purse and I realized I'm short of RM50.00. 

what the fish. why is this happening again!!

Common sense, who else is the suspect.

As I recall, the 'nurse' took a moment telling me what to do when I faced the wall and repeat another time before she goes out and finally taken my X-ray.

I called the clinic twice and the 'nurse' said the doctor is having lunch.

Finally when I get to speak to the doctor, he just said there were many patients after me who took X-rays and he will ask his staff to check if I dropped the money.

I tried explaining to him that it was in my small bag and I am sure the amount of money.

Unfortunately Dr. RK cut me off and said his staffs would never do such thing.

I think that's rude of him. Maybe he wants to protect the clinic's name badly.

Definitely left a bad impression to me though.

I emailed F company about it but I doubt any actions will be taken.

It's okay. It's my fault. I learnt my lesson.

Moral of the story :

1) Money is the root of evil.

2) Take extra good care of your money.

3) Never ever trust anyone but yourself.

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I'm not sure my family will read this.

But I just want to rant it out.

I didn't really want the job from F company actually.

Cause it has nothing to do with my course.

I can't really see the future.

What if I want to further my study? What should I take that time then?

It messed up my mind so bad that I can't sleep at night.

I have another interview with another company. Something I wanted but the interview is too late and I get to know that if I get the job, I will be based in PJ.

This F company was recommended by my sis's friend who is working there.

My sis urge me to send my resume and said if get only think bout it.

They called me for interview so I had no choice and went. Treat it as experience.

When I got the job, my sis kept asking me to accept it. Says it's good etc etc etc.

I have no idea why she seems so eager for me to accept this job.

Maybe cause she's expecting me to start bringing back money for household after I work.

Seriously, even before I get a job, she kept asking me to go work and money money money. 

I was annoyed at one point but she doesn't seem to realize it.

Yesterday I printed out the job offer docs and showed to her. 

She just said "Oh, you're accepting? Good ma, stay home. No need go rent. Save money. You should buy a thank you gift for my friend."

I just kept quiet but in my mind I was thinking "I don't even know if I should thank your friend or not." If my sis did not interfere, I would have just waited for the interview from that another company.

My mom asked me to take the job offer in F company too. Said it's near house, I can save money and go study next year if I want.

What if I didn't get accepted in any university?

But at the end of her sentence, she would always say it's up to me what I want.

The problem is, I was shaken by both sis and mom's talk.

They said it's up to me but I know they want me to accept F company offer.

It made me feel that F company is a better choice.

I would agree the salary is acceptable and it's near my home, so I can save a lot.

But in long term? 

Doubts. Doubts. Doubts.

Questions. Questions. Questions. 

Fear. Fear. Fear. 

My another sis just asked me to think properly.

Before that, she lectured me previously saying it's no use to further my study.

What people is looking for is job experiences. 

She said a whole bunch of things which I already know.

And then she said I was harsh when I mentioned sis and mom wants me to choose F company.

That's it. 

I probably would laugh when I read back in the future.

but you know what I feel now? 

I feel constricted. I feel unfairness.

Why? Why now everyone is giving me this talk and telling me what to do?

Why not support me  4 years back when they know I didn't like my course?

If only I studied other than Agriculture. Maybe life would be better. Easier choice.

But nope. Everyone just kept quiet at that time.

Now, everyone gives a piece of their mind.

I never once complained about the unfairness. 

cause I think it's unnecessary. I would seem selfish then. 

They would probably say I shouldn't put it that way anyway.

Maybe that's why I'm so angry and frustrated when they want to mess with my life now.

Some told me to go for what I want.

But it's not so easy.

I could not abandon the other factors.

Mainly money.

No kidding. I am not even working and my sis already said I should give RM600 for household every month. It's a tradition thing.

Then there's all the expenses, food, petrol, bills etc.

So, yes. I took up the job offer by F company.

I could only hope for the best.

In this whole situation, my dad remains neutral.

Telling me that I've grown up and I should make my own decision.

I did not expect that from him.

At least there's a person who support me whatever I do.

And I realized I needed just that.

Support.

Somehow I believe God has plans for me.

Everything happens for a reason. 

No?