miracles

when i worked hard for something

and the result doesn't satisfy me...

i feel disappointed and thought,

"Maybe I should take it easy. Why put all my effort and get disappointed and sad later? If I didn't work that hard at least I could blame on it later rather than moping about my own stupidity.."

i feel worse when people who didn't put more effort than me could do better.

that makes me think I'm stupid.

or maybe I am.

I just need to admit my intelligence is so limited

and I should try harder to stop comparing or

feel jealousy envious of other people.

It doesn't help when people get more credits than I do when I'm the one who did most of the things.

I know. Life is not fair.

I learnt that long ago..

and I still couldn't accept it.

Why is God giving me all these tests...

to prepare me for greater things?

Cause I don't think I could handle anymore

after so many years of 'training'.

Something to comfort myself,

There won't be a winner if there's no loser.

There's no success if there's no failure.

There's no happiness if there's no sadness.

There's no laughter if there's no tears.

maybe my existence is to enrich other people's life

and I'm getting sick of it.

this feeling is killing me.

and hence my new year resolution,

to be contented and more happy.