this post. this post is still about EXO. 

I'm still sad and depressed and out of mood and I just want to flip everything.

Which I can't hence I keep on thinking bout this gif.

The lawsuit reminds me so much of DB5K. 

I was so heartbroken back then. 

And I can't believe I have to go through it again. 

I told myself it's not a wise choice to like EXO.

Well, I tried not to. I did.

But no. I just have to fall for them. 

There are so many speculations now.

I learnt not to believe them cause who knows the truth except them.

Fans are just siding who they want to and look at the situations based on their perspectives.

I could not blame Kris cause that's his choice. His health is on the line. Just that, the 11 members...who he left behind.

I could not blame Xiumin, Luhan, Suho, Yixing, Baekhyun, Chen, Chanyeol, DO, Tao, Kai and Sehun cause if it's me, I would be angry and feel betrayed too. 

Maybe, just maybe, they are not that close as what we see on screen. I mean they are close but even close friends have their own secrets and dislikes/disagree on certain things of their friend.

Can I blame SM Ent? 

Cause really, after JYJ then Hangeng and now Kris.

But what about Homin, remaining SuJu members and 11 members of EXO who are still staying in SM?

Up to individual preference?

Afterall, what works for you may not work for others.

So, I can't blame anyone could I?

I'm just sad that they could not perform together.

And I will miss their interactions.

I believe they will survive through it.

But cause I ship Fanxing so much...

What will happen to Lay that his duizhang who trains with him for four years is leaving?

The duizhang who I believe have a soft spot for Lay, let Lay troll him, search for Lay in airport always, takes care/protect Lay and supports Lay.

Lay must be in a lot of pain that the angel him is getting angry in Weibo.

(not his fault cause the anti is being a b*tch)

Tao is angry too based on his posts in ig and weibo..

People are saying SM confiscated their phones and posted the msgs.

But if Tao really posted that, I could not blame him.

Kris is someone he looks up to and wished to be like when he grows up.

He must be angry that Kris just left like that.

He must be sad as well as Kris was close to him, accompany him to shopping and even bath.

Other members are close to Kris as well.

(Honestly, they are close to one another that you don't know who to ship with who)

I was hoping everything is just a dream but it's not.

Despite all the fan wars, all the rumors, all the made up news, the truth, the lies..

We probably would not know the real truth...

It happened.

And all I could do is continue to support them including Kris..

their slogan "We are One" seems a little bit off now but

LET'S LOVE.

everyone is confused now.

reality hurts.

it's cruel.

*mend my broken heart once again*

hai. hello. hey.

I'm 23 now and still very into kpop idols.

Well, young at heart maybe. *bash ownself*

So, yeap. EXO. 

I wonder why Kris filed a lawsuit towards SM.

After 4-5years, I have to go through that pain again.

The feeling is just...

and

Don't know what to feel anymore.

Not gonna trust any news posted. 

Probably not true anyway.

I just.....

*frustrated*

I took a nap just now and I even dreamed of them.

That's a little unusual. 

They were in tuxs and we're just in a simple food shop 

(something like economy rice shop)

Not sure if all 12 are there but Sehun and Baekhyun and a few were.

And I was thinking why did I not ask for their signatures..

"Aahhh. Didn't want to alert them. *pretend I don't give a damn*

This must be what most fans felt when they meet them."

Okay, what a stupid thought I have in the dream.

But, Sehun is just ♥.

Hope for the best.

ot12 is still what I hope..